Lesson #9: Repentance and Forgiveness

Opening Prayer

Opening Song:  Hymn #97 Lead, Kindly Light

Lesson: Repentance and Forgiveness

Interpersonal transgressions are common in family life and can range from little things like forgetting to do something or committing grievous sins.  Worthington said, "forgiveness does not occur in a relationship.  It occurs within the forgiver."

Ask one another these questions.
  • Why is it important to forgive?
  • Why is it important to repent?
King Benjamin taught that "salvation cometh to none. . . .except it be through repentance and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ."

Share this quote by Elder Dallin H. Oaks:

"The gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to change.  Repenting means giving up all of our practices--personal, family, ethnic, and national--that are contrary to the commandments of God.  The purpose of the gospel is to transform common creatures into celestial citizens, and that requires change."

Watch the following video:


Repentance and forgiveness have benefits in repairing or mediating damaged family relationships.  "Repentance is more than just an apology and is a humbling, all-encompassing experience" (Hawkins, Dollahite, Draper).  These are the following steps to repentance as listed in the manual Gospel Principles:
  1. Recognize the sin.  We admit to ourselves that we have done something wrong.
  2. Feel sorrow for the sin.  Feeling sorrowful, we are humble and submissive before God, and we come to Him with a broken heart and contrite spirit. 
  3. Forsake the sing.  We stop committing the sin and pledge to never do it again. 
  4. Confess.  We should confess all our sins to the Lord.  In addition, we must confess serious sins that might affect our standing in the Church to proper ecclesiastical authority. 
  5. Make restitution.  Insofar as possible, we make right any wrong that we have done.
The process will depend upon the seriousness of the sin.  "After true repentance, if forgiveness is not forthcoming, self-forgiveness can facilitate healing for the transgressor.  Offenders  must forgive themselves in order to restore self-respect or complete the process of reconciliation where reconciliation is possible" (Hawkins, Dollahite, Draper).

Below are the steps to forgiveness as stated by Worthington:
  1. Recall the hurt.  It is human nature to try to protect ourselves from pain.  In order to forgive, we have to be clear about the wrongdoing and acknowledge the injury.
  2. Empathize.  Empathy involves borrowing the lens of another person so we see something from their point of view.  In order to forgive, it is important to understand the transgressor's feelings.  
  3. Offer the altruistic gift of forgiveness.  Forgiving with altruism is easier when the victim is humbled by an awareness of his or her own shortcomings and offenses, with special gratitude for those occasions when he or she was freely forgiven.
  4. Commit publicly to forgive.  The victim has a better chance of successful forgiveness if he or she verbalizes the forgiveness commitment to another person. 
  5. Hold on to forgiveness.  After completing the forgiveness process, victims may still be haunted on occasion by the pain of defense.  During this stage it is important to move forward.  It is important for the victim to remember that having forgiven, he or she has promised that there will be no paybacks or grudges.
Read this quote by Elder Richard G. Scott:

"The beginning of healing requires childlike faith in the unalterable fact that Father in Heaven loves you and has supplied a way to heal.  His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, laid down His life to provide that healing.  But there is no magic solution, no simple balm to provide healing, nor is there an easy path to the complete remedy.  The cure requires profound faith in Jesus Christ and in His infinite capacity to heal."

Activity: One Man's Junk is Another Man's Treasure.

Go to the local thrift store and give each other $5.  See who can come up with the best item for your money.

Treat:  Molten Chocolate Cake

You can find the direct recipe link here.

Ingredients:
  • 4 squares Baker's semi-sweet chocolate
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 2 whole eggs
  • 2 egg yokes
  • 6 tbsp flour
  • 1/2 cup thawed cool whip topping
Directions:
  1. Heat oven to 425 degree F.
  2. Butter 4 small custard cups; place on baking sheet.
  3. Microwave chocolate and butter in large microwaveable bowl on high 1 min. or until butter is melted; whisk until chocolate is completely melted.  Stir in sugar.  Add whole eggs  and egg yolks; mix well. Stir in flour.  Spoon into prepared cups. 
  4. Bake 13 to 14 min. or until sides of desserts are firm but centers are still soft.  Let stand 1 min.  Carefully run small spatula or knife around cakes to loosen; invert into dessert plates.  Serve warm with cool whip. 
Resources:
Text: Hawkins, Alan J., David C. Dollahite, and Thomas W. Draper.  Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.  Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University, 2012. Print.
Dessert:  http://www.kraftrecipes.com/recipes/molten-chocolate-cakes-69182.aspx

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